ComputerGuy Newbie
Joined: Nov 30, 2006 Posts: 15
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:13 am Post subject: Helpdesk Jokes |
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Young Susie was having trouble with her computer so she called Wes, the computer guy, over to her desk. Wes clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away Susie called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error." A puzzled expression ran riot over Susie's face. " 'An ID ten T' error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?" He gave her a grin. "Haven't you ever seen an 'ID ten T' error before?" Susie replied, "No." "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." . . . . . . . . . . I D 1 0 T
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ComputerGuy Newbie
Joined: Nov 30, 2006 Posts: 15
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:14 am Post subject: The Unix Consultant |
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Cust: what is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program ?
UNIX: yes, that's correct.
Cust: no, what is it ?
UNIX: yes.
Cust: so, which is the one ?
UNIX: no.'which' is used to find the program.
Cust: stop this. who are you ?
UNIX: use 'who am i' not 'who r yoo'.you can also 'finger yoo' to get information about 'yoo'.
Cust: all i want to know is what finds the revision code ?
UNIX: use 'what'.
Cust: that's what i am trying to find out. isn't that true ?
UNIX: no. 'true' gives you 0.
Cust: which one ?
UNIX: 'true' gives you 0. 'which programname'
Cust: let's get back to my problem. what program? how do i find it?
UNIX: type 'find/-name it' to find 'it'.type 'what program' to get the revision code.
Cust: i want to find the revision code.
UNIX: you can't 'find revisioncode', you must use 'what program'.
Cust: which command will do what i need?
UNIX: no. 'which command' will find 'command'.
Cust: i think i understand. let me write that.
UNIX: you can 'write that' only if 'that' is a user on your system.
Cust: write what?
UNIX: no. 'write that'.'what program'.
Cust: cut that out!
UNIX: yes. those are valid files for 'cut'.don't forget the options.
Cust: do you always do this ?
UNIX: 'du' will give you disk usage.
Cust: HELP!
UNIX: 'help' is only used for Source Code Control System(SCCS).
Cust: you make me angry.
UNIX: no, I don't 'make me' angry but i did 'make programname' when i was upset once.
Cust: i don't want to make trouble, so no more.
UNIX: no 'more'? 'which' will help you find 'more'. every system has 'more'.
Cust: nice help! I'm confused more now.
UNIX: understand that since 'help' is such a small program, it is better not to 'nice help'. and 'more now' is not allowed but 'at now' is. Unless of course 'now' is a file name.
Cust: this is almost as confusing as my PC.
UNIX: i didn't know you needed help with 'pc'.let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.
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ComputerGuy Newbie
Joined: Nov 30, 2006 Posts: 15
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 11:15 am Post subject: Computer Consultant |
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A man walks into a Silicon Valley pet store looking for a monkey. The storeowner points towards three identical looking monkeys in politically correct, animal-friendly natural mini-habitats.
"The one to the left costs $500," says the storeowner.
"Why so much?" asks the customer.
"Because it can program in C," answers the storeowner.
The customer inquires about the next monkey and is told that "That one costs $1500, because it knows Visual C++ and Object-Relational technology."
The startled man then asks about the third monkey.
"That one costs $3000," answers the storeowner.
"$3000!" exclaims the man. "What can that one do?"
To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen it do a single thing, but it calls itself a Consultant."
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mooseling1 Newbie
Joined: Sep 28, 2009 Posts: 1
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Posted: Mon Sep 28, 2009 8:24 am Post subject: |
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Computers make very fast very accurate mistakes
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You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You can download files in this forum
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